Part of ~lance's adventure in Piniglarism

Later on today we have our annual adults vs. youth, Turkey Bowl. Leading up to the game I sent a few funny emails to the adult team.
Email # 3
Alright kids, it is time for you to get out your Olvatine Secret Decoder Rings.
Today’s Message is:
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxYouxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxwillxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxlosexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx!
Email #2
With the recent steroid allegations circulating around the “Fab 3” (Jordan James, Natalie Tribble, & Emily Bumgardner) we have had to take extra steps to insure that our players are not juiced.
The tests have come back and we are completely clean.
As for yall’s team, I’m not so sure.
If you need help with your walkers and canes, please let me know.
Email # 1
Dear Turkey Bowl Losers,
This is your year! Did you hear that Jonathan left?
Well if you didn’t hear, let me be the first one to admit that Jonathan gave our “youth” team an unfair advantage.
Don’t worry though, I have some rising 6th grade girls that are willing to take the field.
See you on September 28th (Unless you’re scared! And no Jordan James isn’t on steroids, she is just ready for the big game!)